Mixed Emotions

I sit here today to write a post after many weeks of not connecting on this blog. We have returned from our wonderful overseas UK holiday about 1 month ago. Just a week and a half home my mother then took ill with a form of pneumonia and took her last steps on this earth walk on the 14th Oct 2013 and she now journeys along her new path free of the Parkinson's disease she battled with so difficultly in the last 8 years in the nursing home. The blessing of having returned home to assist Mum in her final stages has not been lost on me, and the great transition this was for both of us. I am deeply grateful that in the last year with my personal relationship with goddess Kuan Yin and her qualities of compassion and mercy deepened I was able to find a new space within my heart for the relationship my mother and I had. This enabled me to sit with her in the silence and just let that be what it was with no other expectation. She journeys now free of the restrictions that the disease brought to her life, returned to the eternal love that is all, with only the fond memories of our life together remaining in my heart.  This year I will work with her to find comfort, healing and guidance as I continue now on this next phase of my journey without my mother.

Born 12th August 1936 to Geoffrey & Victoria Middleton

I read the following poem in honour of my mother amongst my sisters last weekend and found great healing take place in this process, I thought I would share with you the poem written by Grandmother Waynonaha Two Worlds a native born an Indian of a Mother that respected the Earth and a father that taught her that our lives belong to the people and with the belief that we are the hollow reeds that Creator uses to work here on Earth.

RELEASE

She walks down by the river, smells the sweet spring breeze 

Barefoot with the grass beneath her feet, walking gently, walking slow. 

Feel each blade touch her and whisper to her melodies 

She feels the life and she is free. 

As a dragonfly, beautiful colours with the world on it's wings. 

As the pebble washed by the water and rough edges smoothed with time. 

See her stand now, at the river's edge. 

See her spirit lift and soar. 

She is free now , she feels the life and she is free. 

She stands ankle deep in crystal waters with cool liquid; fresh. 

Like a spring of purity, to wash the old, and replace the new. 

Letting it calm her, letting it soothe. 

Ahh the water, drowning doubts. 

Feel the sun, feel the wind, feel the energies abound. 

See her spirit awake for she knows love. 

Could it be any other way now.... 

Not even if the heavens were falling down. 

She breathes in the sun and lets it warm her heart. 

It becomes the fire burning inside her; the creation of herself. 

Her legs will not carry her; but only where her spirit calls. 

She becomes the dragonfly, letting go of that which holds her bound to 

this 

heavy burden of life. 

She feels the life, she feels the love and she is free. 

Spirit dance now, as we celebrate her birth. 

It has been many moons from when we last knew her. 

And she is here. feet plant deep in her people soil. 

Drawing from the strength of her people the wisdom which is hers. 

Red Earth Red sister. 

Spirits sing; one more sister has found her way back to herself. 

See her kneel now and embrace the Earth Mother. 

Spirit planted in fertile soil will not wither and will not die. 

Listen as she grows. 

She is the life now, she is the love, she is the Earth Mother and she 

is 

free. 

Hear the voices of her children. 

She is free 

Mitakuye Oyasin Waynonaha

This healing would not have been possible if not for the sisters that provided the safe and loving circle in which I was able to show myself truly vulnerable knowing that nothing was being judged only held in love to allow the process to unfold.

The value of sisters goes beyond blood. Although I have no true sisters as I am an only child my girlfriends have become my sisters and our relationship with each other I think is even stronger as we have chosen each other in adulthood to be there for each other. We have been brought together on this earth walk to supoort each other, to really hear what the other is saying and see each other for who we really are without judgement and accept each other in our lives for all that we have to offer. These sisters have wise words to share, will support you through difficulties and celebrations, they will sit in silence just to be with you and do nothing at all if that is what is needed. I am humbled to have these amazing people in my life, there are a select few, I see the gift that each one of them is to me. Each of these “sisters” has a place in my heart and warms my soul to know that I have sisters who love me unconditionally. I give an inner bow to each and ever one of these sisters from another mother that walk my path with me, giving gratitude each day to have you in my life.